On Friday, which was Alana’s birthday, we jumped into two cars full of our friends and we headed to the beach. Three of the girls were her friends, and two were mine. We listened to Pandora the whole way up there, singing loudly and being silly. We were stoked to not be working and to have a long, full day ahead of us at the beach.
The weather was perfect! We snuck some sangria onto the beach with us. Rita and Natalie, two friends that I work with and I took a long, long walk on the beach. Natalie and I did some yoga. The seven of us listened to music, lay out in the sun, and hopped into the ocean from time to time.
Two years ago on Alana’s birthday her and I went to the beach alone. It was her first birthday that we were together as a couple. We had an amazing time together. I still remember that day as if it were yesterday and not over two years ago.
To have returned this past Friday with five of our friends was a really cool feeling. I joked that we’ve picked up “groupies” over the years. Things are really just coming together. And speaking of coming together…
We heard back from my doctor about the day three fertility tests. Apparently all my levels are in normal range! That was a load of relief for me to hear. But now…they want to take a look at my tubes by putting a dye into my body. Our insurance company would like to have that procedure done before giving us the referral to the fertility clinic in our area.
I won’t lie, this HSG dye test has me a bit nervous. There’s a chance it could be painful, and I feel even more nervous for these results than I did for the day three fertility results.
I’m going to just breathe, and push through it all. Until we actually sit down with a fertility clinic we won’t have an accurate picture of what it’s going to take to start a family together. A whiny voice in my head sometimes says to me “all your straight friends don’t have to go through all of this to have a baby”, but I immediately quiet that voice whenever I hear it. I’m not straight, and I do have to go through this. Feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to solve any of this anxiety I have.
Alana and I have finalized our wedding and reception details with our venue and that paperwork is getting finalized this week. I also have reason to think that my yoga teacher certificate will arrive in the mail this week, and that’s extremely exciting! Even if there’s so much to be nervous about, there’s still a lot to be excited about.
I’m just going to try to take it all one day at a time…
Namaste. I hope the weekend was as good to all of you as it was to us.