I walked out into our living room this morning and was startled to find how brisk the room felt. I knew instantly that the temperature had dropped outside overnight, and I was right! It was in the low 50s. The high temperatures this entire week will only reach the mid-seventies. It’s coming. Fall is coming.
And with this Fall comes our ever impending wedding which will be happening early next Fall. Time is dwindling. That year mark until our wedding will be upon us very soon.
Alana and I sat down this past week and really planned out our wedding budget. We sat down together and really looked at how much it was all going to take. I honestly think I’ve been putting off doing this for weeks. I’ve been nervous that crunching the numbers would only provide us with a whirlwind of stress and anxiety that would only deepen as the weather grew colder. Instead, I’ve felt very calm since planning our budget. I’ve felt good, even. Confident.
A year ago I was so heartbroken and bitter about having to pay for my own wedding. I felt gypped that I couldn’t be handed a beautiful, pristine wedding like so many of my friends got without paying for it themselves. (spoiled brat much!?).
So to feel powerful, and responsible, and good about being able to do this for myself, and for my fiancé, feels amazing. Not only do I no longer feel bitter about paying for it, I feel grateful. Grateful that I’m able to. Grateful that I have a career that I love that allows me to pay for my own wedding.
Alana and I were going to go to hot yoga Saturday morning, but I slept in until 11:00 AM, and we decided to skip it. We also meandered out for some amazing Indian food for lunch. We also bought a bottle of white wine and opened it, even though we already finished a bottle of red wine between the two of us earlier this week. We also started season 1 of Battlestar Galactica on Netflix and fell into that for several, several hours.
I honestly think that lazy weekends and lazy vacations are my favorite thing in life.
I’m happy that Alana and I are able to pay for our own wedding. I’m grateful we’re getting the wedding that we both want. I’m thankful that knowing just how much were investing into it hasn’t caused a whirlwind of anxiety that’s going to last over the next year. I’m happy that I’ll be marrying a woman who loves Indian food as much as I do.
I’m happy the weather is getting colder. For with it’s coldness comes many new journeys to embark on.