Category Archives: My lesbian love life

I Wish There Was A Written Guide To Same-Sex Parent Family Planning

I went to hot yoga on Tuesday morning before work, which is nothing new.  I always go to hot yoga on Tuesday mornings before work.  There are times I miss my Friday practices, and times I miss my Saturday practices….but never my Tuesday ones.  It’s like something in the universe calls my body to breathe, bow, and rise to greet the sun every Tuesday morning.

Anyway, class this Tuesday was more amazing than it usually was.  After the yin/yang class I took on Sunday the Baptiste power flow felt so dramatic and dynamic.  But in the best way possible.  My hamstrings feel more stretched out than they have in months, and I, just in general, feel more loose than I have in months.

I’m going to take N’s yoga class on Saturday morning.  She considers her yoga classes to be “restorative” yoga, so it’s quite different from both Baptiste power flow and yin yoga.  I have a feeling that I’m to feel blissed out after taking a third type of yoga for the week.

I’m starting to wonder if my “yoga lesson” for the Summer is to consistently take different types of yoga classes.  I’m still less than one full year into my yoga journey, so I’m still finding out what types suit me and what mixture of yoga classes allows me to feel my best.  It’s definitely one of the deepest journeys I’ve ever taken inside myself.  =)

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with an OBGYN to discuss, well, getting a fertility test/getting a referral to the fertility center near us that offers LGBT family planning.  I’ve got so many little nerves and apprehensions making my body tingle right now just thinking about the appointment!

What if the doctor is against gay marriage? What if she is absolutely disgusted that I’m looking to find “the doctor for us” as we start the journey of starting our own family?

I can’t possibly be the first lesbian lady to have these fears.  I’m not even quite sure what to say to her when I first see her.

But I guess all I can do is show up tomorrow and just take it from there, yeah?

I wish there was a written guide to same-sex parent family planning.

Though I suppose the journey is going to be a lot more interesting without one, yeah?

Namaste.

Dhanurasana

Art Museum-Hopping And Yin/Yang Yoga Dates

Today Alana and I took a yin/yang yoga class at a yoga studio close to our home.  This was the first yoga class I’ve taken in over ten weeks that wasn’t hot yoga.  I normally take two hot yoga classes during the week and one restorative yoga class on Saturday mornings.  Because I’ve had to “adjust” five of those restorative yoga classes on Saturday mornings to complete my hours for yoga teacher training I haven’t actually taken the class since mid May.

I don’t think I realized just how long I was going without non hot yoga.  I was aware of it, of course, but I didn’t realize it was nearing the two month mark .  It honestly didn’t matter.  I was getting all that I needed to get out of yoga.  My practice was changing, I was experiencing new things, and I was challenging myself in new ways.  My body has gotten more flexible and stronger this summer.   I’m aware of the changes in so many ways, both inside and outside of my yoga practice.

The yin portion of class today was absolutely amazing.  It was such a change from the fast-paced power yoga I normally do in ninety-five degree heat.  I enjoyed holding poses for five minutes at a time, letting my body round and letting gravity push me to the Earth as I breathed and let go.  My friend Natalie met Alana and I for class and the energy around my practice was calm and comforting as the two of them practiced around my mat.

Alana and I went to D.C. with a few of her friends yesterday and we museum-hopped through different art and sculpture museums. It was nice to be out and about and I thoroughly enjoyed the art.

All in all it was an amazing weekend.  I’m not quite sure what the point of this post was.  Maybe it was just to say that yoga constantly amazes me, whether I’m doing it in heat or out of it.  Maybe it was to express wonder and gratitude that I’ve found an amazing woman who loves to trample around to art museums and take yoga classes with me.

Either way I hope you all have an amazing week.  Namaste.

Dhanurasana

Family

Family Visits and Family Planning

My aunt and cousins flew in from Arizona last week, and this past weekend was absolutely amazing! There was a big family barbecue full of food, love, and laughter.  We went out to dinner Sunday night, and over to my Aunt’s condo last night.  Whenever they come into town every Summer we all kind of drop everything and spend as much time with them as we can.  I absolutely love it. I miss them during the year (they use to live here in Maryland with us) and family get togethers are always a blast.

Speaking of family…Alana and I have been talking a lot about our future family ever since we made that doctor’s appointment for me on August 1st.

We looked up more information on the fertility center near us that offers gay and lesbian family planning.  It turns out that they actually work with our insurance company! I called for more information and talked to a lady there for about five minutes.  I asked a lot of questions, and she was able to answer most of them.  She kept insisting that we make an appointment to come in and sit down and talk with them…and that’s exactly what we’re going to do! We need a referral from a doctor in our insurance company, so I plan on asking for one on August 1st, at my appointment.

I’ve been talking with a few friends about the journey of same-sex family planning that Alana and I are getting ready to embark on, and a coworker sent me a link to a YouTube channel.  The channel belongs to a married lesbian couple who are going through the process of starting their own family.  They post videos about the steps they are taking to start their family, their trials, their tribulations, their costs, their worries….

So I did more digging around, and talked more with my friend, and sure enough, many, many married lesbian couples have their own YouTube channels made for the purpose of sharing their family planning story.  I shared a few channels with Alana and we watched a few videos together.

I’m so, so grateful that these couples decided to create these videos! This whole process has my head spinning, and it has for years now.  We have many different options, and many different roads we could travel down when deciding just how we would like to go about starting our own family.  The costs and all the steps we have to take overwhelm me on a good day.  Many of my friends have been and are starting their own families…but these friends aren’t in same-sex marriages.

I’ve felt alone, and scared, and beyond overwhelmed by all of this.  Finding these channels has been a blessing.  What’s even better is that Alana has told me that she’s extremely “down” for creating a YouTube channel with me! She thinks that it’ll be fun and that we should share our experience, and I couldn’t agree more.

I’ve never done the whole video thing, or vlogging thing before, so I’m excited for this embark on this new project with my wife-to-be! =)

On Wednesday I took the afternoon to visit my Mom and my Aunt who is in town from Arizona.  We got to talking about life, and our lives, and I’m not quite sure how it happened, but all of a sudden I told them the doctor’s appointment we made me and what all of our plans were so far regarding our family planning.

I was so overwhelmed and blown away by how supportive they both were.  They asked so many questions, and at one point my Mom even grabbed her laptop to look up a few things like, the difference between an AI (artificial insemination) and an IUI (intrauterine insemination).

They asked me how soon we might start trying, and I was honest and told them 2016, and that was only met with more overwhelming support.  I was expecting my Mom to dislike this idea, as well as the fact that I’d like to start a family with my (future) wife.  A decade ago my Mom and I had a conversation about two people of the same-sex having their own family, and she was of the opinion that it shouldn’t be done.  So to receive so much love and support from her was unexpected, and truly a blessing.

Having her behind me is going to make what is already going to be a hard process much, much easier.

Alex and AniIn other news, after years and years of constantly desiring Alex and Ani bangles, I got a small bonus at work and decided to splurge on a bunch of them for myself.  They are perfect, and beautiful, and I can’t wait to add more to this collection!

So much is going on with my yoga practice, and I’m happy to say that it’s all good things.  This Saturday will be the last yoga class that I have to “adjust” before I’ll be handed my yoga teacher certificate!

I can’t even begin to process that, so I’m going to wrap this up.  I realize it’s been a while since I’ve made an entry about yoga so I vow that I shall do that soon.

Peace and love.  Namaste!

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Alana & Tally

A New Used Car and New Beginnings

This weekend we traded Alana’s 2007 Toyota Yaris for a used 2010 Honda Civic.  The yaris had 166,000 miles on it, and needed a new horn, and probably other work done to it.  The Civic has 44,000 miles on it, and doesn’t need any work.

The fact that we both drive Honda’s now pleases me greatly! Her Yaris was the last thing that needed to be taken care of since landing the position at her new job.  All the outstanding bills that lingered from her 11 months of not working have been paid.  Everything else that we fell behind on has been attended to since this May, when she landed this job.

The car has been taken care of now, and we are current on everything.  We look forward to booking our wedding venue in a few weeks, and to moving into a townhouse sometime early next year! =)

We made a doctor’s appointment for me in early August.  We made the appointment so that I can inquire about….well, a fertility test.  And meet with a doctor in the network of our health insurance, and discuss finding “the doctor for us” as we begin to embark on the crazy journey of same-sex family planning.

The fact that we are at this point is absolutely crazy to me! It still shocks me that she landed this job sometimes.  I was so heartbroken over thinking that we wouldn’t be able to have a big wedding, or go on a honeymoon, or start trying to have a family of our own anytime soon that it still seems surreal to me now when we discuss booking the venue.  Or going to Costa Rica for a two week honeymoon.  Or scheduling an appointment for me to inquire about a fertility test…

But it did happen.  She got the job, and we really are at this point!  So I’m going to soak up the fact that we both have really decent cars, and health insurance, and a newfound security in ourselves, and that everything is going exactly how we wished it all along.

Last week was the first time I went to hot yoga more than once in a week, and it felt absolutely amazing.  My schedule has changed at work, and I’m now able to go to hot yoga four different days before work, rather than just two! This pleases me greatly.  My yoga practice dwindled a bit in June as I fell into being tired, and then a cold, and bouts of laziness and indulgence.

Going twice last week was like a wake up call.  I loved the way my body and mind felt, and I’m craving more of it.  I’d like to try to go at least 2-3 times a week for the next few weeks.  I “adjusted” my 4th yoga class this past Saturday.  I only have one more class to “adjust” before I’ll be handed my teacher certificate! The fact that I’m at this point seems surreal.  Things are really coming together, and I really need to start showing up to my mat more often.  So that I can breathe, and accept, and just take it all in.

My Aunt and cousins will be in town from Arizona this week, and that’s just so exciting.  I always look forward to spending time with them in the Summer.

I think I’m going to go practice a few inversions against my living room wall before jumping in the shower and getting my day started.

Namaste! Gonna wrap this post up with a few selfies, just because.

Us

An Indian Wedding Off the New Jersey Turnpike

This weekend we headed out of town and into the state of New Jersey.  It was a four hour drive and we listened to ‘Summer Hits of the 2000s’ on Pandora all the way there.  I was excited to get there, and anxious as well.  I wanted enough time to get ready.  I wanted it to already be time for the wedding!

The wedding was a complete blast! They did a full Indian wedding, or the Americanized version of it anyway, so there was the Baraat before the ceremony in which we danced behind my cousin while he rode on horseback to greet his bride and her family.  I absolutely love the traditions and the customs.  I’ve always found Indian weddings to be beautiful, spiritual, and fun.

IMG_2821This was Alana’s first time attending an Indian wedding, as well as attending any big event with this side of my family.  I introduced her to many distant relatives for the first time.  It was the first time I had ever introduced them to anyone important in my life…especially that person being a woman.  I’ve always had a small fear of what it might be like to introduce my distant Indian relatives to her.  Whatever fear I had ended up not mattering.  I introduced her, and they were kind, warm, and loving.  Just like any individual in my life who I’ve ever come out to.

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The reception was a blast! Receptions are definitely my favorite part of weddings.  We drank, ate amazing Indian food, and made our way onto the dance floor with my brother, sister-in-law, and nieces.

My brother seemed genuinely disappointed when we told him that we did away with the groomsmen in our bridal party.  He asked if anyone was making a speech or a toast, and I told him that he could if he wanted to.  He started telling me how much he was going to embarrass me during his speech, and I laughed and told him that that was fine.  I’m honestly just so touched that so many of our friends and family members are excited about us marrying.  Watching my parents and Aunts with Alana this weekend was slightly surreal.  How close, comfortable, and loving everyone is getting is really heart-warming.  I know that I’m a lucky woman on a day-to-day basis, but this weekend was still somehow a huge wakeup call in the “WOW, look at all that you have!” department.

I’m gonna wrap this up before I start going into how amazing hot yoga was this morning.  Another entry, another time.  For now, more pictures.

IMG_2830My oldest brother and I.

NiecesTwo of my nieces =)

Venue

We FINALLY Found A Venue!!!

This past Saturday turned out to be a day that I thought may never come.  Alana, my Mother, and I toured a wedding venue here in Maryland.  I didn’t have high hopes.  I wasn’t expecting this venue to work out.  None of the three venues we looked at last year worked out for us because of cost.  We are working with a tight budget due to many factors.  The factors being that Alana and I are paying for a large majority of our wedding and reception.

I was starting to think that a full wedding and reception were out of our reach.  Alana and I privately agreed that this would be our last venue tour.  We decided that if this venue didn’t work out, we’d have a very tiny wedding in my parents backyard…or not have a wedding at all.  We had begun to talk more and more of just going to a court-house and getting married by ourselves.

That’s not what I wanted.  That’s never how I pictured my wedding day.  It would have been fine, and I’m sure it would have been great.  But, as a bride-to-be I’ve been pretty heartbroken for the last year, thinking that the wedding I had always daydreamed of for myself just wasn’t going to happen.

This weekend relieved my heartbreak.

Not only are we having a full wedding and reception, we are also having an open bar. I never thought we’d be able to have all three, especially at a venue that’s so beautiful and easy to work with.

I’ve spent these last two days looking at bridesmaids dresses on David’s Bridal’s website.

To say that we are beyond thrilled is an understatement.  Alana and I have discussed lots of wedding stuff this week, with each other, with our parents, and with our bridesmaids! We’ve redone our bridal party from the initial party we created last year, and we feel really good about the changes

I can’t believe this is happening.  We are actually having a wedding after all, with our dear family and closest friends being there to celebrate with us.

It’s happening.  This is it!

I couldn’t be happier.  Namaste.

Beach

Headstands and Beach Weekends

This weekend we packed up our things and headed to the beach. It was a pretty amazing weekend from start to finish.

Beach 2We found a cute little Italian place to have dinner.  We found an awesome coffee shop with a drive thru that made the best frozen coffee.  We lay out on the beach for hours together, talking together, and reading together.

I honestly don’t think I could marry someone who I couldn’t lay side by side on the beach with for hours and hours upon end.

I got as close as I dared to the ocean and took a couple of headstands.  This was a new beginning for me, in a way.  Since beginning yoga eight months ago I’ve only taken headstands in a few yoga studios and in my own living room at home.  I’ve never taken a headstand anywhere in nature, or anywhere that wasn’t on solid ground. Beach Headstand

The sand proved to be ground enough.  I actually found it easy to take a headstand on the sand.  They were the most peaceful headstands I’ve ever taken.  I faced the ocean while I took them, and just staring at the ocean for moments at a time while being upside down was a beautiful feeling.  I almost always get a rush when I take a headstand.  But no headstands I’ve taken thus far come anywhere close to being as amazing as the few I took on the beach this weekend.

I’m currently gearing up to work five days in a row this week.  Our beach weekend is over, and that’s a sad fact.

This upcoming Saturday we’ll be touring our first wedding venue of the year, so I’ll have more to write about soon.  Never a dull moment in the lesbian chronicles!

Kiss

Memorial Day Weekend (2014)

MDWThis weekend we ate way too much fast food and junk food, and watched twelve episodes of Scandal in a twenty-four hour period.  This weekend we cuddled for hours, laughed for minutes at a time, discussed the future, and had a few adventures.

Saturday night we went on a “Girls Night” with my very best friend and a group of girls that she got together.  We went out to dinner and then we went bar-hopping, drinking and being silly late into the night. Girls Night

Sunday I had the hangover from hell, but I also have an incredible fiancé.  She took care of me, and the day was not lost.

This upcoming weekend we’ll be heading to the beach.  The weekend after that we have a tour to look at a wedding venue.

This weekend was amazing and I’m excited for the upcoming weekends.  When you’re in love, life is like an apple pie, and the weekends? Are the sweet whipped cream on top.