Category Archives: Yoga Teacher Training

What Am I So Afraid Of?

Last Saturday I adjusted my fifth yoga class for yoga teacher training.  We only had to adjust five classes before being given our teaching certificate, so as long as the director of the program approves the yoga class hours that I’ve sent her….I’m all done!! I’ll be mailed my certificate soon, and then I’ll be a certified yoga instructor!

There are currently two sets of married couples in my life who are asking me to start going to their houses to give them private yoga lessons.  The wives of one of the couples wants me to start private yoga lessons with them this Fall, and she also wants to see me for Reiki healing.

In the last month I’ve been offered several jobs teaching yoga through a second person contact! My childhood dance teacher called and told me she had spoken about me to a program director at her church, and the program director wanted to know if I would like to come teach child yoga there! A coworker ran up to me at work just Monday of this week and told me she had a friend in D.C. looking to hire a yoga instructor for a project next month, and her friend wanted to know if I was interested.

So many opportunities to teach yoga are at my fingertips.  So the question I ask myself is….why do I feel myself hesitant to take them?

The same could be said for my massage trade.  Every month I get text messages from someone in my life, be it my Mom, or my brother, or my best friend, or someone random, saying that a friend/coworker/uncle is looking for a massage therapist to come to their home.

I never take any initiative with all of these invitations that I constantly receive.  All year I told myself that as soon as I finish yoga teacher training I would buy a new massage/reiki table along with lotion, aromatherapy oils, yoga blocks and straps, etc, to get a side business going.  Have I been done with school for several months? Yes.  Have I done any of that? No.

So many people as me about Reiki.  So many people ask about yoga.  So many people ask if I offer massage outside of my job.

Why don’t I? I have so many gifts in my hands, and I keep them to myself.  I can feel the knowledge base and experience of these gifts strengthen in me over time.  My body gets stronger and stronger every month that I continue to practice hot yoga.  The concepts of deep breathing, tissue manipulation, inversions, and meditation take on a new meaning for me as time goes on.

Why don’t I share these gifts with the world? Why do I hold myself back?

I’m going to dedicate to rest of this Summer to finding out why I just can’t take this step.  Every time I practice yoga I will set my intention to find this truth.  I’m tired of holding myself back.  I’m tired of feeling like I’m not good enough.

It’s time to really throw myself out into the world, and see if I can make it.

Namaste.

Bikini Selfies And Facebook Comments

My fiancé and I spent this past weekend at the beach, and while I was in my bikini I….well, I took a selfie.

I started yoga (and yoga teacher training) this past Fall and my body has changed a lot in the last eight months.  More so, it’s changed even more in the last twelve months, for I had just finished losing some extra weight before I jumped into yoga and teacher training.

The way my body has looked these past few months has pleased me.  It feels good to look in the mirror and like what I see. I find my life to be very different just from simply feeling comfortable in my own skin.  There’s a certain freedom to feeling like I can put on any dress, any shirt, or any pair of pants, and not look or feel “fat”.

Anyhow, I posted this selfie on both Twitter and Instagram….and then felt too embarrassed to post it on Facebook.

My embarrassment and not wanting to feel “slutty” amused me.  I have many, many female friends who post pictures of themselves in bikinis on Facebook, and I never have any negative reactions such as “wow, that’s slutty!” or “I can’t believe she did that.”

I have no idea why I felt so embarrassed and nervous about posting it, especially since I’ve been feeling a lot more physically confident lately.

My fiancé and my friend Natalie finally gave me the courage to post it….and so I did! I got a lot of responses, but the most significant response for me was from one of my two yoga teacher trainers.

She told me to make sure that I advertise for any yoga classes that I teach with a picture of myself in a bathing suit doing a yoga pose, and that I look great.

I was immediately surprised and slightly taken aback by her comment.  Did she really tell me to advertise myself in a bathing suit, in a yoga pose, to inspire people to take my yoga classes??

She did, and I’m glad that she did.  I never would have thought to do that on my own.  I never would have thought that that would be “okay.”  A big part of me was honestly hoping that she wouldn’t see the bikini selfie because I thought she’d disprove of me attaching my yoga practice with how my body looks. (I captioned the picture referencing my new “yoga body”.)

I’m really glad that I have her in my life and on Facebook.  I still know so little about yoga and the yoga world, and if I hope to start teaching someday I’m going to need her help.

Tomorrow my friend Rita is joining me for a Baptiste power flow class before work, and then on Sunday we’re getting together for a Bikram class after work!

Rita had never done yoga before joining me for her first class this past Winter.  I took her to a yin/yang yoga class, and since then she’s gone to a few classes on her own.

It feels really good to know that I’ve been able to get friends (I’ve gotten a few more beside her) into yoga.  The fact that she’s meeting me twice in one weekend for a class is pretty exciting!

I was really scared that my yoga practice would kind of…vanish, I guess, after teacher training ended.  Since I jumped into both yoga and teacher training at the same time, I think I assumed that stopping one meant the dwindling of the other.

Teacher training has been over for a few weeks now, and so far I’m finding that to be very untrue.  Especially when I have people like my one teacher and Rita in my life to keep me going.

I’m looking forward to both hot classes this weekend, as well as “adjusting” my teacher’s class Saturday morning.  Only four more classes to “adjust” before I get my teaching certificate! I should have it by the end of this month.

That’s a very exciting fact.  Namaste!

14 Notes

Fourteen Notes

14 NotesYoga Instructor School is over now.  This past weekend was our final retreat, and this eight month teacher training program has come to a close.

The retreat was exhausting, and amazing, and challenging, and a lot, and I haven’t quite felt like myself since I’ve gotten home.

My energy is different, my head is different.  I’m different.  Not a good different or a bad different, just different from how I use to be.  Jumping into yoga eight months ago started a whirlwind and completing yoga instructor school has stopped that whirlwind.

What now?  What now, that I’ve finished?  I will no longer be seeing my twenty amazing classmates every week, and I’ll no longer be driving to Baltimore twice a week.  Things feel so different, so dramatically different all of a sudden.

I still have to assist five yoga classes before I get my yoga teacher certificate.  I still have to go to Baltimore at least once a week, and I’ll still be seeing a few of my fellow teacher training yogis.

But it’s not the same.  Everything’s different now.  I’m both curious and afraid to see where I go from here.  And to see what happens next.

My head isn’t quite right and I haven’t done a lot today, but what I have done is read these fourteen notes over and over.

Fourteen notes of sweet messages, kind words, and well wishes. Fourteen notes from fourteen people whom I have done yoga with, sweated with, and connected with over the last eight months.

I don’t know what will happen next.  I don’t know if I’ll ever teach yoga.

But what I do know is that I’m gonna keep these fourteen notes for a good, long while.